If you detect any of the above symptoms, visit your veterinarian, who will empty, or “express,” your dog’s anal glands. Some groomers can also perform this procedure, but if you suspect that your dog’s sacs are infected, it’s better to have your veterinarian do it.

Whether your dog is an Irish wolfhound or a fur ball like Bertie, there is definitely a method behind its bathroom behavior madness. While no owner looks forward to doggie cleanups, at least consider that you’re not just picking up any old poop. You’re hauling away a sophisticated marking tool, unique to your dog, which is part of a communication system that took thousands of years to evolve in your pet’s distant wolf ancestors.